Friday, September 26, 2008

Presidential Debate Drinking games




I think most people would have severe alcohol poisoning if they actually followed these rules but it's pretty funny. Read the article below.
Whew, that was close. Goofy old national joke John “Walnuts!” McCain had threatened to skip tonight’s debate unless he, uh, solved the Financial Crisis. Luckily for us, the 500-year-old clown can’t “keep his word” for more than a few minutes, so of course he’ll be at the debate tonight, unless he changes his mind again, which happens often when you can’t remember what you just said and have no idea what you’re talking about, anyway. So, huzzah, we will get to drink on a Friday night after all! Get out your iPhone or whatever and make a shopping list, because it’s time for Wonkette’s Famous Debate Drinking Game!


RULES & DEREGULATIONS: “Drink” means a hit off your beer or wine, or a shot of spirits — unless we specify what you are to drink. If you lack the specified spirit, just have two gulps of whatever you’ve got in your hand — unless it’s a penis in your hand. Save that for later: We are in a crisis. You may substitute whatever pills — except vitamins — or smoke your marijuana or whatever when the Game requires you to consume a specific pill. Generics are acceptable only if you can afford the name brand. “Thrift” is the new style for those with Health Care! (Or a good Rx dealer.)


Whenever John McCain says “My Friends”:
Two drinks (or one shot), poke the breast of the person to your right and smile creepily.


When Barack Obama shakes his head with dignity:
Shake your own head with dignity, take the beverage from the person to your left, and tell them to go get you a new drink because you are not going to get AIDS from their backwash/lipstick.


When you see the black abyss of Jim Lehrer’s lifeless eyes, which are lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes ….
Cross yourself, tell everybody you didn’t know you were a Catholic, and chase a shot of whisky with a gulp of red wine.


When Lehrer first says that while he knows this was supposed to be a debate about Foreign Policy ….
Chug your entire beer or drain your glass and pour a shot for immediate consumption when he completes this with something along the lines of:
“But an extraordinary situation has developed within our financial system, something both of you know from your trip to the White House yesterday ….”


LIGHTNING ROUND:
When McCain says anything about his family:
Angrily drink half a beer or half a glass of wine and call your host a cunt.


When Obama stutters about some foreign-policy trick question probably about Israel:
Get on your knees, look to the East, and do a shot.


When McCain makes his first reference to being a prisoner of war:
Everybody get in a box and take a Vicodin.


At McCain’s second reference to being a POW:
Two shots, punch the person next to you in the biceps, demand a confession.


Third POW reference:
Five-and-a-half shots.


PRESCRIPTION FOR (GREATEST) DEPRESSION:
When McCain tries to articulate his non-existent economic policy and/or bailout plan:
Fight your friends for change under the couch cushions, pass around a joint because who can afford fancy store-bought booze anymore?


When Obama acknowledges that the financial crisis may limit the amount of Hope and Change his administration can afford:
Immediately finish off the best bottle of liquor in the house, because who the hell is ever going to see that again.


When McCain is unable to remember either the number of mansions, number of cars or number of millions he (and Cindy) own:
One Ambien, chased with one shot, followed with Metamucil dumped in a gin & tonic.


McCain actually has a muppet (probably Beaker) pop up next to him and do the talking:
Everybody do three lines of coke, take off your clothes and GET IN THE TANK.




Tuesday, September 23, 2008

DERF Happy Hour Cincinnati 10-10-08

DERF HAPPY HOUR

Where:
Mount Adams Pavilion
949 Pavilion Street
Cincinnati OH 45202

When: Friday, October 10 6:00 PM - 9:00 PM
Cost: $10

THE NEW DEAL!: $10 for 6 COCKTAILS! - OR - 10 Bud Lights!

The DERF HAPPY HOUR is the wildly popular and super fun monthly social event for fun people in Cincinnati. Join hundreds of interesting and successful people for casual after-work fun with great music and conversation. The venues rotate and include some of Cincinnati's coolest spots like Longworth's, Jefferson Hall, The Mt. Adams Pavilion, MLT's/Millions, Bang Night Club and more to come!

Proudly hosted at THE MT. ADAMS PAVILION.
SPONSORED BY: Pump Salon and Beechmont Scion

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

3-2-1 Friday - 9/26/08 Cincinnati Sports League








Date: 9/26/2008
Time: 6 - 9pm
Description: 3-2-1 Friday!! Get the Weekend started right with CSL!!

When we say 3-2-1 we mean it literally!!

$3 Jose Cuervo Margaritas
$2 Jolly Rancher Shots
$1 Bud Light & Bud Select Bottles.

No Cover!!

Register below to RSVP for this special offer. The only way to ensure entrance into 3-2-1 Friday events is to RSVP ahead of time. This assures entrance between 6-9pm.

3-2-1 Fridays are open to everyone, but if you don't RSVP, you run the risk of having to wait in line, and no one wants to waste the weekend waiting in line!

Limited Space available!!

As always, if you plan on drinking, please remember to be responsible, and designate a driver!!
Contact: Cincinnati Sports Leagues
513.533.9386
info@gocsl.com

Cincinnati Sports League (CSL) - Happy Hour




Join CSL Friday, September 19th at BlackFinns, Downtown, for Cincinnati's hottest happy hour. Help us kickoff our fall season of sports! $10 dollars at the door gets you the official beer of CSL as well as two Captain Morgan's cocktails made to order. Get their early as BlackFinns will fill up fast!

Date: 9/19/2008
Time: 6 - 9pm
Description: Get the weekend started off right by parting the night away with CSL!!!

The $10 cover gets you 10 Bud Light Drafts and 2 Cocktails made to order by Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum and Tattoo.

As always, if you plan on drinking, please remember to be responsible, and designate a driver!

Contact: Cincinnati Sports Leagues
513.533.9386
info@gocsl.com

Location: BlackFinn
19 East 7th Street
Cincinnati, OH 45202

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Official Ohio State Headquarters in Hollywood, CA for the USC GAME




Buckeyes fans that are travelling all the way from Columbus, OH and other parts of the country should definitely stop by The Happy Ending in Hollywood, CA.

The OSU alumni association has designated The Happy Ending as the official Buckeye Headquarters for the big game weekend. Starting at 4pm this Friday, The Happy Ending will be providing outdoor bars in the parking lot, beer trucks, beer pong, live music, and drink specials all night long! They will continue this on game day Saturday starting at 12pm noon.

All Buckeye fans should stop by Friday and/or Saturday to check it out!

GO BUCKS!

Monday, September 8, 2008

Hedge Fund Happy Hour in NYC


Warren Buffet and Bill Gates with some Hooters girls


FINalternatives and Catalyst Financial Partners is throwing a Happy Hour networking event on Tuesday September 9th from 6:30-9:00pm at Lucy’s Latin Bistro, 35 East 18th Street, NY, NY

You are invited to join fellow hedge fund managers and others involved in the asset management industry for an evening of cocktails and networking.

WHEN: Tuesday, Sept. 9, 6:30-9:00 pm
WHERE: Lucy’s Latin Bistro, 35 East 18th Street, NY, NY
RSVP: events@finalternatives.com
No Entrance Fee/ Cash Bar

Bring your business cards so you can network. There will also be a drawing for a free pass to Asset Allocation Forum 2008, which will be held Nov. 10th at the Harvard Club in NYC.

Please RSVP so we can get an idea of the numbers. We look forward to seeing you there!

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